It ain’t easy

My friends are turning into strangers.  Some drift away, some morphed into sluts as they joined sororities, and others I don’t even know.  I don’t know if I’ve emotionally matured from that or something but I don’t find myself compatible to the things they find joyous in life.  I definitely know I haven’t grown up in so many ways but at the same time, I don’t feel (I’m not trying to sound snobby) at the same intellectual level with any of my peers.  Granted, I only really interact with people from my old high school so that limits the crowd.

It really bugged me when my co-worker and I were talking about something and she was describing how her sister had always been jealous of how easily she made friends to which my co-worker said that her sister could have made friends too but chose not to.  See, being introverted and shy, I can relate to her sister.  It’s not that we don’t want to make friends, it’s just that it comes easily to some and not to others.  Sure, people tell us to try and break out of our shells but it’s just not that simple.  I think that’s one thing that is so misunderstood about shy people.  Some evolve but it does take time.

About the introverted part, I suppose that’s part of who I am but I have a hard time coming to terms with that often.  I do like being alone with the feeling that I have others behind me.  I just feel like I’m being selfish and aloof when I’d rather spend time with my computer rather than my family or friends.  Or maybe that’s just the thing about being in this generation.  I suppose boredom travels beside that also.  Like I mentioned in a previous post, I’m pretty sure I’ll be spending less time on the laptop when I move away next year just because I’ll be living on campus so there will be more to do and new places to be.

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