More thoughts

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, the last ones, thank goodness.  They don’t hurt that much, I ate some chicken noodle soup for breakfast. 😀  Hope I’m healed up in time to eat chicken fajitas tonight!

I was answering a question on SP and I just realized why I write.  I write to be understood.  Like when I speak, my words are so screwed up and often mistaken for something else.  In writing, I can organize my thoughts and make sure nothing is left out.  I never show anyone but it’s just for me, to comfort me.  That’s not what I really meant.

I’m confused.  I had woken up at midnight and couldn’t get back to sleep because of the damn clocks that were ticking so loudly.  So of course I was in the mood for a serious conversation with O.  I asked him what we were.  Were we just friends?  He said, “That’s a good question.  What do you want to be?”  I told him I didn’t want an official relationship seeing as how he lives in New York and we haven’t even met in real life but I felt we were more than friends.  Plus I’m not ready for my first boyfriend ever to be long-distance and via internet.  O said that sounded fine.  I said, “OK” after that.  Now I’m even more confused though.  What was “fine”?  I came to the conclusion that we’re just friends with benefits.  I feel so foolish as to think he could have felt more.  I’m not in love with him or anything but I care so much for him.

Bleh, anyway, my family and I were talking about my brother and his girlfriend he met for the first time from the internet.  My dad shook his head and told me not to fall in love with someone from the internet.  I’ll heed his words but I think I know what I’m doing.  I know he doesn’t think I’m smart with online strangers but I really am.  Most of my online friends are from SP and I’m so lucky to have come across them.  I’m capable of intelligent conversation…

I feel funky.  Blah.


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