thoughts

I’m absolutely ruined my healthy streak today with the spoonfuls of cookie dough ice cream I had earlier and the pop I’m drinking now.  Sigh.  I had oatmeal for breakfast and a salad for lunch and I even ignored the Oreos that were sitting in front of me in the breakroom but alas, I fudged up.  Ah well, it doesn’t really count anyway since I haven’t started working out yet.  Even though today was the first day of gym, we didn’t do anything.  The teacher just showed us how to work the instruments and what not.  I’ve seen most of them before in the Y so I knew their basic purposes.  Gym should be kinda fun.  We get partners/groups to work in so I won’t be making a fool of myself alone.  I love ellipticals.  I’m going to the gym tomorrow.  The Y, I mean.  I think I mentioned before that I have the actual gym-school class and then I just joined the Y across the street because we got some free family membership gift card for three months.  So by the end of May, which is 5 months, I plan on losing 30 pounds.  That’s doable, right?  Or even 10 pounds per month, so dare I say 50?  Working out everyday, pushing myself.  I need to get back in shape, I haven’t worked out since the end of November, I believe.  I hate treadmills and I don’t think I’ll ever run on them but I like ellipticals, I’ll just do all my work on there, and the chin-up machine I like too.  I need to shop for sweats, I only have shorts and gyms are full of nastiness.

Ahh, I love Amy Winehouse, she’s my favorite right now.

I’ve got math class tomorrow, it actually isn’t that bad right now.  I like all the classes better after the first two weeks because by then, some people drop out, and we’re left with a human number of people who actually care…or don’t.  Either way, they’re probably there for good.

This “fading” away isn’t working.  My friends are worried I’m dead.  Le sigh.  I hate to be rude, but I just don’t care anymore.  They never cared before.  They never call or text.  It’s all done through fucking Facebook.  Coffee, books, and music are my only real friends.

Speaking of which, I’m just tired of life.  School’s fine.  The rest of my life could be put on hold right now.  I’m tired of friends, O- I don’t even know how to describe our -ship, and parents.  I’m just really done with the whole thing.

I’m in a bad mood this evening, sorry.  Something snapped at work.  Will fix ASAP.  Maybe sleep.  I’m tired.  Physically.

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