Self-love

So.  After that meltdown I had last night, I got to thinking and came to a sort of realization, I know that no one but I can make myself happy.  I’ve discovered that.  Love is faulty, money can’t buy you happiness, and the only thing I can truly depend on is myself.  The problem is, I don’t trust myself enough to believe in myself.  I’m starting to hate raisins by the way.  People telling me I’m nice, pretty, and smart isn’t going to do anything.  I don’t believe them anyway.  I find the whole idea of needing reassurance from other people to feel confident in oneself too needy.  I’m not a baby anymore.  I say that as I spoon oatmeal into my mouth…  I know self confidence isn’t going to bloom overnight.  The thing is, I don’t know how to gain self-confidence.  I just don’t know… and I really hate raisins…

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6 Responses

  1. Oopsies. Read this a little late. You can ignore my comment on the other post if you like. But I really really did mean it.

    In my experience, self confidence mostly just comes from “not caring”. Once you stop caring about the world, you start loving yourself. This is probably just bad advice though. Ignore me. I haven’t slept.

  2. Dried cranberries… They are legit.

    Aside from that, I know the feeling of self-assurance (what I am going to call it at the moment). It’s something some people struggle with (myself included). It takes a lot of work, but I have a feeling as soon as you find something that you enjoy (and possibly moving and starting anew in a couple of months) will help develop that self-confidence.

    You can do it!

    • I get it from McDonald’s though so the raisins already come in it 😦 First world problems, I tell ya. Yeah, do you ever dream that your life is totally going to change when you move? I have this fantasy that everything will turn around for me once I move away.

      • Yes… I do. I have this crazy dream that everything is going to be perfect (singing woodland creatures included).

        But to be realistic, while I will be happy with where I am, it would be ridiculous to say that my life will be perfect. It will be considerably harder, (1) because I will be happy, so with what I’ve gathered, things will become harder. More things will go wrong. Just part of all it. (2) I will be living by myself, supporting myself. My actual entrance to the “adult” world. No family support, working a job, bills (don’t get me started on the college debt that I’ll be accumulating… Still a little bitter giving up that full-ride)…

        But I’ve just got to grin and bear it. No matter how much life throws at us when we move to our areas, we’re where we need to be, and we will recognize that and be happy and be able to make it through it.

        … If that makes any sense. XD

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