Lonely

I saw “The Vow” yesterday as I mentioned.  Watching romantic movies leave me with mixed feelings of dread and wistfulness.  Besides musicals, romantic comedies are my favorite.  So why do I put myself through the torture?  I am a sadistic being.  😀  I grin at the end when girl ends up with boy.  I suppose I watch these shows to convince myself that there really will be a someone for me.  It’s stupid, I know.  It’s naive, like believing in fairy tales.

I bounce back and forth.  I tell myself to be patient.  I tell myself not to get discouraged.  But deep down, I wonder what other girls have that I don’t.  A voice?  Looks?  Smarts?  I’ve never ever been in a mutual-feeling situation before.  I won’t deny, I’ve had guys who have liked me but either a.) I didn’t feel the same way about them or b.) they didn’t do anything about it.

It’s just…nice to be wanted.

I’ve never had a first kiss.  Or been out on a date.  I know I’m young still.  In those movies, I always have to imagine what being touched by the significant other feels like.  A brush against the shoulder, holding hands, all that snhazz.

Sigh.  I hate feeling pathetic.

~”I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed, and to share the silence when they’re not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.”~

When I wear those rose colored glasses, there really is a “me and you.”

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