It finally happened

So I kinda went on my first date today ūüôā

It went pretty well! ¬†I liked him and he was super nice. ¬†I felt bad for him though because I was awkward and didn’t know what to say when the conversation lapsed. ¬†He was good at coming up with stuff anyhow.

One question that I always get asked and it’s a little annoying. ¬†When people find out that I’ve never had a boyfriend and they ask, “Why not?”

It’s not like I chose it to be that way. ¬†No one’s ever asked.

Anyway, I don’t know if we’re meeting again. ¬†Probably, but I didn’t know it was protocol to set up another date after the first one ended. ¬†I don’t know if he would do it again. *shrugs* It was definitely fun though and I broke my first-date-ginity. ¬†We are SO much alike in music though. ¬†I hope he sticks around just for that. ¬†He even listens to Stars!

Twas indeed a pleasant day.

Newest additions to my family are: my baby- Olympia typewriter and some books- Eat, Pray, Love, and No Touch Monkey!

Adventures

“Man, I was so fucked up last night,” he said while shaking his head.

Is it just me or does anyone else not understand? ¬†I’ve had my fair share of drinks but I know my limit and when I’ve had enough. ¬†I don’t need to be acting like a fool or blacking out. ¬†Maybe it’s just my naivety.

It’s also annoying when people have “serious” conversations while drunk. ¬†Don’t tell me that you guys are talking about “serious stuff” when the both of you are drunk and wouldn’t be having the same conversation sober.

On a more positive note, I just got back from a brisk stroll around town with a friend. ¬†He’s a pretty cool guy. ¬†He speaks his mind but he’s not socially awkward like a lot of the people around here. ¬†I hung out with him this morning because I didn’t end up sleeping much.

Cuddle buddies-I need one. ¬†No sex, don’t care if it’s a guy or girl, I’ve decided you can’t beat cuddling.

Currently debating on whether or not I should go to breakfast or sleep…

Ooh, the sky was gorgeous.  So many stars out.  Wish I had a suitable, expensive camera to take pics.

Socializing

I’m spending this lonely Friday night in my room listening to Vampire Weekend’s “Diplomat’s Son” and enjoying my cheery Christmas lights.

Today did not go well.

Last Friday, (long story short) I received a noise violation along with an alcohol violation. ¬†I just met with the RD this evening. ¬†I got off really lucky- 13 weeks of probation. ¬†I was surprised the sentence was so light. ¬†No community service, no calling parents. ¬†That made this whole week suckish though because I didn’t know what to expect. ¬†I was worrying about getting my scholarship being taken away and getting in serious amounts of trouble with the college. ¬†I hereby swear off drinking until I’m 21. ¬†The¬†embarrassing part was when I cried in front of my RD. ¬†I was oddly emotional today. ¬†Between waking off and on at 4:30 and 7:30 in the morning, watching P.S. I Love You¬†and shedding tears in scenes I never have before, I was a wreck.

On another note, my roommate has hit it off well with all of the normal people which is great but naturally, I’m jealous. ¬†I wish I wasn’t. ¬†I wish so much. ¬†She’s so pretty and funny and all of the guys like her. ¬†I just feel that I’m following her around. ¬†I wish that could be me. ¬†Mostly that guys liked me… ¬†I feel like a shadow so I’m not going to do it anymore. ¬†I know that it means more nights by myself but that’s all right. ¬†I’ve done it before.

I’ve been social, I’ve gone out of my shell. ¬†I’ve went up to doors and introduced myself to strangers I don’t even know. ¬†Everyone tells me to be more social. ¬†I’m so sick of the “social workers have to be social” jab. ¬†I’m trying. ¬†I really am. ¬†I’m not getting any results from it. ¬†It’s just frustrating.

I don’t feel like I’m being myself anymore. ¬†I hate myself, I hate people, I hate it here. ¬†Well, that’s a lie, I could never hate it here.

I feel another beach night coming on…sigh.

Things are not what they seem…

I’m really lonely.

Not homesick, just lonely.

Mind you, I’ve met a lot of great people and everything, just no one that I’ve really clicked with. ¬†Not to mention the lovely people I am not at all fond of and have to design routes to avoid walking past their doors.

Another thing that’s been bothering me, why is it so important to me to know who I am? ¬†With college, I’m surrounded by boys, the temptation to hook up for the night, alcohol, other not-smart decisions. ¬†If I want those things, does that mean that’s a part of me I have to satisfy? ¬†At the same time, I have the same questions when I’m doing positive things, like going to open doors and introducing myself. ¬†That’s where I get confused since I’m having the same uncomfortable, awkward feeling for good and bad things.

I take bike rides to the beach when I can’t stand it any more, when I can’t stand just laying there and feeling sorry for myself. ¬†Needless to say, I’ve been taking those rides quite often.

I wish I could just be rid of these clouds hovering over. ¬†I mean, what on earth do I have to be unhappy about? ¬†I’m at a new school, I’m away from my parents, away from home, away from being smothered, I have a brand new life, this is all I ever dreamed about. ¬†I’m in a beautiful place with the beach five minutes or so away.

I just don’t know.

Settled in!

Much to tell!

Since Sunday afternoon, my family and I have been camping at a site in town, about three minutes from campus. ¬†We’ve mostly stuck around town, just visiting the isle and walking around downtown.

On Thursday, I moved my things into my dorm. ¬†The dorm is definitely spacious but we still don’t have quite enough room to fit the TV yet. ¬†We’ll work on that later.

My roommate is pretty cool! ¬†The country music thing seems so small now. ¬†She’s really friendly and has a sense of humour, thank goodness. ¬†It’s kinda funny because when I look over, I’m seeing a¬†camouflage¬†hunting jacket and a package of beef jerky! ¬†I definitely think we’ll get along though.

It’s so loud next to where we are. ¬†They’re doing construction on the building next to us and these huge trucks are driving by constantly.

There’s a hike later to the farmer’s market but I dunno if I’m going to do that since it’s my family’s last whole day in town. ¬†I’d kinda rather be with them but I don’t know if that’s due to tentativeness of trying new things. ¬†My mom kept telling me, “Try to be more social!” ¬†Arghh, not one of my better qualities. ¬†I have plenty of time to be social, no? ¬†Awkwardooh, I just remembered I have leftover Cheetos! ¬†No Cheetos for breakfast, Katie.

Oh, so I was making a delicious stir fry last night but alas, my stovetop didn’t work to my befuddlement. ¬†Of course it wasn’t until after I filled out the repair slip for the maintenance guy, that I realized turning the power switch to “on” would have helped a lot. ¬†Sigh.

In all fairness, this week and last (and probably this coming) have been exhausting.

And I got my new computer, yay! ¬†I learned my lesson about the battery….

Must start being responsible soon. ¬†Classes start on Tuesday, I’ve got so much to get together before then- thank you cards, strategic planning for ad sales, gah!’

Oh, and one thing I thought that was weird, when I had biked over to my parents’ trailer, I felt this weird uncomfortable feeling I get in the pit of my stomach. ¬†Like when you’re in a stranger’s home and you feel out of place. ¬†Maybe that’s a good thing since this room is going to be (part of) my life but I never thought I’d feel out of place with my family. ¬†Weird. O.o

Final Week

I just need to clear my head a little bit.

Wow. ¬†This is it. ¬†My final week in Flint. ¬†I’m so nervous.

Also, goodbyes suck. ¬†I told my grandparents I’d stop by on Friday to say bye because I didn’t want to do it today. ¬†I feel like I’ve gotten closer to them and I’m really going to miss them.

I’ve lived in this house for the majority of my life- 14 years. ¬†The only time I’ve ever been away from home for a bit of time was years ago to a week long camp. ¬†Agh! ¬†I don’t have a sister so I’ve never had to share a bedroom with anyone. ¬†I’ve never walked into a blind situation like that. ¬†I have gotten to know my roommate a little bit though and she seems pretty nice outside of liking country music and being a “redneck” (her word, not mine). ¬†I’m trying to overlook that flaw ūüėČ

The thing is, I won’t be coming home until November. ¬†Shit, that’s a long time. ¬†My brother’s been clingy (which I don’t mind). ¬†He’s leaving for his camp on Wednesday and we’re picking him up on Sunday, camping as a family, and then dropping me off on Thursday. ¬†We spent the day together yesterday and today but it won’t be the same. ¬†I feel bad for him (and me, haha) since he’ll be all by himself with Mom and Dad which isn’t the most fun thing in the world. ¬†Poor guy.

I’m looking forward to it all, I really am. ¬†It’s just that everything’s going to be happening at once and in the extreme. ¬†Seven hours away from home, no car to come home, barely anyone I know, gah.

Oh, btw, on a happy note, I did get the dorm I wanted. ¬†Apartment style, yay! ¬†At least a little home cooking will make everything better. ¬†ūüôā

I’m just torn between anxiety and excitement.

I have a phone interview with the school newspaper for an ad rep, I hope it goes well, I really need a job.

Getting there…

I leave in two weeks. ¬†TWO weeks! ¬†Holy crapola. ¬†I just started packing this (technically last) night and filled two and a half large totes. ¬†I have concluded in the process that I have too much crap and that maybe it’s time to seriously get rid of the things I’m leaving behind. ¬†Maybe I could ask my mom to dump everything I leave into a bag and see if I miss it when I get back.

I haven’t received my roommate assignment yet (grr) but my mom and I did manage to find out that I got my first choice dorm room!!! ¬†Huzzah! ¬†This means I have to add kitchenware onto my shopping list. ¬†At least I can start on something…

I can’t believe I have two weeks left. ¬†Where did all the time go? ¬†1/4 of me is excited, 1/4 is nervous, and the other 1/2 just hasn’t sunk in yet. ¬†Holy wow, this is happening.